Forty-Nine years he has waited and…

Forty-Nine years he has waited and…

By Bob Zettler

March 7, 2011

…I find myself standing in my own excrement!  A fitting testament to the past week as my obsession for killing some Snow geese has culminated in this last hurrah for me and a good friend.  Let’s jump into the “way-back machine” and review what led to my current situation.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I was in Arkansas by myself two weeks earlier and had just spent that Sunday scouting for me and my buddies who were coming in late that night so we could hunt in the morning.  Now I had never done this sort of effort before here in Arkansas and only knew of one area to scout but over the years and just recently I had developed relationships with a number of people who could and would provide input, intel, and, most importantly, realistic and current scouting reports of where they were seeing birds.  In fact, a fellow hunter from Tennessee who I had never met but had talked with a number of times over the past year was also in the area and chasing them too so he was providing real time reports.  Can’t beat that!

Well, he and his crew and I got a chance to meet as we were all staying at the same hotel where we shared stories and thoughts about hunting Snows.  That is when I discovered he might be more obsessed than me.  In fact, it seems that Illinois was one state he had never killed a Snow in and so I offered assistance to fulfill his desire by either taking him to our lease where there had been tons of those white bastages in the past or another area I was familiar with.  We established that he could come up if all went well for the weekend of March 5-6 and with his gear and my access he could possibly get that opportunity.

As the weekend approached I was getting a little worried as my reports from the lease indicated no birds to speak of so I put another couple of areas into play and began to work the phones to see what I could arrange.  In fact, the weekend before I had scouted and obtained access to a number of farms and lands where we had seen beaucoup birds and even killed a few!  Then there was another area I had in mind that I had hunted for a number of years but hadn’t been back since 2008, so it remained another possibility.

As I worked the phones and my contacts – some I knew and some I just approached out-of-the-blue – I was getting worked up as my obsession to kill some Snows began to rise to near Charlie Sheen levels.  In fact, if I couldn’t find birds here in Illinois and things fell apart, I was contemplating heading back to Arkansas where I had a line on a pile of Juvies or even try and pay for a one-day hunt in Missouri.  But I digress as usual…

Then on Wednesday I learned from my impending guest that he might have to pass on my invitation as he just might head to North Dakota in three weeks.  We even discussed my going back to Arkansas if he decided to pass but he would work his phones too for scouting reports down there and let me know the next day his findings and decision.  Concurrent with this was my chatting with a young man going to SIU to be in law enforcement who I had not met but once again we had been in Arkansas two weeks earlier and we had shared scouting reports and the like.  He too was ate up with killing some Snows and I extended an invitation to either join me/us at our lease, or the other areas I was familiar with here in Illinois, or, even head back to Arkansas to which he jumped in and said of course!  Well, I now had several options all of which included chasing Snows somewhere in Illinois or northeast Arkansas even though I had previously cleared my calendar to help out the crew from down south.  While I had already heard back from the guys I hunted with the weekend before that they were headed to Missouri, I now had someone else who had decoys (I only have around 90 as some “friends” still haven’t returned the 200+ I loaned them two years ago) and the obsession and ability to either hunt north or go south with me depending on what my impending guest decided and I could tell where there were birds.  We too agreed to talk Thursday night and settle on a plan.

So now I have plans in play and Thursday night rolls around.  No calls.  No texts.  No replies.  Well, maybe they are busy or something came up so I leave messages to contact me on Friday.  Friday arrives.  No calls.  No texts.  No replies.  Now I am not happy as I had cleared my weekend to assist someone and he wasn’t calling or replying.  Even my backup player was doing the same.  How can people…whatever, I was still going to do something but it was now too late to go by myself to Arkansas or Missouri so I decided to stay closer to home and see if the geese were still where I had left them last weekend.  I began to review other friends I know who might have the means and desire to hunt some Snows and called Danny Newell.  Danny is 63 and had told me how he had been hunting Snows this past season or two by himself with a sled full of windsocks but had yet to connect.  Yes, he was interested in a Sunday hunt and would let me know on Saturday.  Great!  Then I called Tim Schultz and he too said he was interested and Sunday looked good.  Double “Great” since he had access to a digital caller and even more decoys!

Got up early on Saturday and headed to where we had been the weekend before and began to work the phone trying to get local reports and intel as I scouted the skies and grounds.  Arrive at the last place(s) I had hunted and see birds but only found a handful.  Then, after talking with my local friends I began scouting in earnest in some different areas but let me tell you our Illinois roads are not in that great a shape.  In fact, on one road I was sliding my way down when I came across a sinkhole and was just able to scrape by and not fall in!

After the first 100 miles and only seeing maybe 50 Snows and feeling like the weekend was cursed, I decided to head to the area I use to hunt several years ago and lo and behold found a large flock feeding in a cut-corn field!  Stopped at the first house I see and while it wasn’t his field the geese were currently in, he gave me permission to his land which was adjacent to the birds and told me where to find the other owner.  Thanked him and headed to his home only to discover he was napping but had a great conversation with his wife to which I felt there was a possibility to hunt.  Not leaving anything to chance, I got back in my Jeep and headed north where I found more birds.  And once again met the lady of the house and she granted me permission.

Shortly after leaving her I got the call from the other landowner and he too granted permission.  I was in ecstasy as I now had permission for a lot of lands and they held birds.  And while I still had a bad taste in my mouth from the other two people who basically didn’t have the common courtesy to return a call or text – after I had cleared a weekend for the one – I felt good about Sunday as Danny had already committed and I know his word is good.  As for Tim, he called and while he still hoped to come, life had thrown up a roadblock as his wife’s vehicle had lost its transmission (Dark Cloud) and he was trying to find another person to come over with but so far with no luck.  At least he called back. Que sera, sera.

As it was getting late and I had now driven nearly 250 miles scouting, I decided to head for home.  However, my obsession got the best of me and I decided to pull the cow board decoy out and give it a try by myself on some geese that were about 150 yards from where I could park.  Now I had only tried this once before, and even though it was very late, I was tired and the winds were moving at around 13+ MPH, I headed out with my loaded strapless shotgun.  Have you ever crouched down and walked trying to hold an eight-foot cow silhouette that folds in two places and a shotgun without a strap into the wind?  Let me tell you it ain’t easy!  And, since it was a spur of the moment decision to try it – nothing ventured, nothing gained – I really wasn’t prepared.  Sure I had all the requisite tools like the cow board decoy, extra shotgun shells to dispatch cripples but I had just thrown my coveralls over my street clothes and red jacket to hide behind this unwieldy wind sail.  And as I got closer to the birds, they did start moving away a little but I was closing the distance when my belt on my jeans came loose and my pants started to drop under my insulated coveralls. 

This really created a problem as I tried to crouch down behind the decoy and close the gap with the Snows but I was getting closer and closer till I was at 100 yards…and then my Cell rang.  It rang loudly.  Now the birds moved a little faster because this was no cow bell, or, at least no cow bell they had heard before but I kept going as the ringing mercifully stopped.  Got a little closer to the Snows again and farther from the Jeep when the cell rang again!  Now here I am with my jeans down around my knees underneath my overalls where I cannot drop the board or lean it against me in the blowing wind to turn off my cell but I keep trying.  This went on for another three times until I said screw it as now my uncovered hands that were holding the decoy began to lose feelings due to frostbite and I was afraid I would trip and stick the shotgun into the mud or some other bodily orifice.  And the geese just kept feeding 100-yards away as I took the call…

As I headed home and tried to restore some sensations to my fingers, my biggest concern now was did we have enough decoys and a good sound system?  Danny had around 250 and I had 90 so that would have to do but he only had two older sound systems that operated off tapes and that worried me.  Now I had gotten all the components for a sound system together over the past year except but hadn’t put them together.  Also, I needed to buy some sound files since my CD had been stolen last year.  After consulting with the on-line community the night before, I settled on several and set about purchasing them.  Got to the download page for the final four tracks and it crashed. No, not at my end but their system crashed.  Sent them an email late Friday night and copied the ones I was able to download onto my MP3 and even my Cell – just in case the one I was after didn’t come through!

Now all I had to do was put together the sound system which shouldn’t be too difficult.  However, as I didn’t get home from scouting till 9 PM Saturday night and then spent the next couple of hours getting my gear together and on the sled, it was nearly 11 PM when I set about with my solder gun and wiring.  Got it all wired up and tried using two Mojo 6-volt batteries in series to get the requisite 12-volts I needed for my car stereo player and nothing.  What the &^%$!  Tried connecting directly to a 12-volt car battery and nothing.  Checked the fuse and nothing.  Well, I guess the tapes will have to do, that is, unless Tim is able to make it in the afternoon tomorrow.

Got to bed after 12:30 AM and wake up at 3 AM but can’t get back to sleep.  Leave the house and meet Danny at the anointed time and we head out to the field.  While the landowner didn’t want us to drive into the field there was a lane leading out to where the birds had been feeding but it was too muddy.  However, there was a stretch of grass alongside that was firm enough to drive on so Danny said he could make it.  We get to the spot and pull the gear out before Danny heads back only to almost get stuck when he runs off the side and into the muddy lane.  Cursed I tell you!

In short order we have things set up and are ready for the onslaught and then the one tape screws up.  Luckily I get it straightened out, so bring on the birds!  Over the next several hours we had birds over us and by us but with the exception of just two groups, not one bird other than Specks and Canada geese came closer than 120 yards or so, or even gave us a look.  We discussed driving around to see what we could find or even cow-boarding (I had one in my Jeep) but one thing I knew I had to do before anything was relieve myself and the only place to do that was back where we parked the vehicles.  I made the trek back just in time and used the opened passenger doors to afford me some privacy and perform my “paperwork” between them.  Afterward, I decided to review the Platt book to see if we had permission on the properties where the geese were feeding today.  As I stood there glassing the different groups of birds and reviewing the Platt book I realized I was standing right where I had left a major deposit when its bouquet hit my olfactory cells.  I can sure be pretty stupid some (most) days…

By the afternoon we had several thousand Snows feeding in a field a half-mile north of us and the same or more in a field a mile south but not a single, pair or flock came in or close other than the aforementioned dark geese.  And that was the way it ended at 6:22 PM with no shots fired and no geese.  And since it was now way too soft to even drive down the grassy edge to the lane, Danny and I had to cart our gear out on our backs and sleds which took us till after 8 PM.

As we said our goodbyes and I apologized for us not killing any Snows that day, Danny simply said to me, “Hey, that’s hunting.”  And while I hated the fact that the last Snow goose he had shot was 49 years ago and that we had both been through some difficult times, the two of us still tried our best.  In a world where a person’s character doesn’t always amount to what it use to, two men gave it a shot and understood that when life and others throw crap at you – and some step in it – two friends can still get together, throw a lot of personal effort into it and while they might not achieve what they set out to, they can still have a good time and leave each other a little richer than they started out because, well, you know, that’s hunting…