Sometimes you get what you need…
July 27, 2011
By Bob Zettler

Most of us over the age of 30 remember that old Rolling Stones song that says “You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes well you might find. You get what you need ..” Well, Tuesday, July 26, 2011 was one of those days.

Normally, I do not take time off during the week as I like to save all my vacation time to use during the hunting season(s) that nowadays stretches from September 1 through early May but this one time I decided to take the afternoon off. No, the fish weren’t going especially crazy and I didn’t have a serious line on them per se. However, work was about to get crazy and this would be my last day I could get away. At least I had hope in that my good friend Brian Cleland had done very well with Tyler two days earlier just around the corner from where I had spent most of 20 hours on Lake Shelbyville the day before but that day is another story…

Now I have been going solo a lot this summer and didn’t want to this time so I extended an invitation to my daughter’s boyfriend who I really hadn’t had the opportunity to get to know. And since I had heard through the grapevine they were getting serious and had been together more than a year now, this just seemed like an appropriate time to test the waters. We parents do not have it easy and when you throw in divorce it just seems more complicated. And even though she lived with me from the age of 14, I had always striven to keep her and her mother together which wasn’t all that easy a job. And, ironically, recently we haven’t been too close but I digress already…

I made arrangements with work to take off Tuesday afternoon and was pleased to learn Jeremie had the entire day off when he accepted my invitation. Now Tuesdays are not my favorite day of the week. Call me superstitious or silly but it seems life will throw curve balls and spitters at me on the third day of the week. Car breakdowns, illnesses, injuries, etc., seem to migrate to this particular day but I had Brian’s fishing report, a good weather forecast with light winds and knew where I had done well on Saturday, so I took a chance.

Then, I got thrown a curve ball when my son asked to go. Now he hadn’t been too keen on going in this heat and he hates how I can go out for hours on end while he would be satisfied with just a two-hour cruise. Yet, he asked to go and I was happy to oblige! So we made plans to meet Jeremie around 1 PM after I had gone home to get the boat and hoped to be on the water by 2:30 PM but right off the bat ran into issues and didn’t leave Chatham (where I live) until nearly 1:30 PM. A short while later I had picked up Jeremie from the K-Mart parking lot and was heading east on I-72 to Lake Shelbyville and that was when I noticed the dark clouds building. Now I had checked the weather and saw an 11% chance of precipitation for the afternoon but I predicted we would get wet before the day was over and 10 minutes later had the wipers on!

“Was my Dark Cloud luck building to interfere with building a relationship with Jeremie,” I fretted but the rain was over before we hit the outskirts of Decatur where we stopped in Mount Zion for gas and Subway sandwiches. Now most people know I am a shopper and deal prospector and that was why I stopped here for gas as it was 13 cents cheaper than back home. In addition, lunch at Subway would be reasonable as they had the two foot-longs for $9.99 but not at this one! They don’t go on special till after 4 PM, so instead of paying $15 for three sandwiches it was nearly $24 – there goes the gas savings! Then it was on to Findlay and the R&K One Stop for minnows and ice but that too got complicated when my son wanted, no, make that needed a Red Bull and another snack which added $8 to the bill. At least Jeremie bought the beer, so we weren’t even on the water and I had dropped a $100+ but this was more about building a relationship and as we all know there are always there are costs to everything if you want them done right.

In short order we were at the Eagle Creek ramp and I showed Jeremie what I do to prep for the water and asked if he could assist in getting the boat into the water. I get tired of doing this by myself, even though I have a routine, and he stated he felt comfortable backing me and the boat into the water so it was a go. Still, I was nervous as the brakes on my Jeep hadn’t seemed right lately and you just never know. So I positioned the Jeep and trailer and after getting into the boat had him back me in, which went extremely well! He went ahead and parked it and the three of us headed to the cove and points I had fished this past weekend and Brian had cleaned up on Sunday. Sure, I had a desire to hit a few spots before we got there but I decided this presented the best opportunity for catching fish and spending some quality time with my son and quite possibly a young man who might become a part of all our lives…

Remember those dark clouds we passed through earlier as we left Springfield? Well, all of a sudden the skies got darker and when we checked the radar on our Smartphones we discovered several red areas headed right at us! Yes, there was lightening and with an aluminum boat I felt it best we seek refuge. However, there was no cover and as we watched the remaining boats scream out of there I decided to beach the boat on the southern shore where we could tie the boat up at and let the now northern winds blow it into the shore while we gathered back under the relative “safety” of the woods. In a matter of minutes the calm, flat waters began to form large waves and while it wasn’t like the Bering Sea, we all agreed I had made the prudent decision. As the 50 MPH winds blew and the lightening crackled in the distance (less than 3 seconds away) we explored the area as we chatted.

It was actually kind of nice as it wasn’t really raining but sprinkling and as long as the boat didn’t blow away and the lightening stayed away, we could ride out the storm and that was when Jeremie spotted a tiny frog in the leaves nearby. At first, I thought he was mistaken as I could not discern anything other than leaves but after several minutes of scanning I thought I could see one but was having a difficult time believing my eyes and that Jeremie had seen it at all! Sure, on the way there as we took the Route #51 by-pass he spotted a deer standing in the grassy median that I hadn’t which was fortunate as I slowed down enough so that when it decided to bolt I didn’t hit it! But how could this young man who doesn’t hunt like me spot something so tiny that both my son and me had to literally stare for minutes just to find it after Jeremie had pointed it out to us?

For the next 20 or so minutes we chatted and explored not only our safe haven but also learned more about each other. A comment here, an observation there, a story or two and we all began to relax as the storm moved through. After the rain ended and the waves subsided, we all recognized that something special had just taken place. It was if the three of us – one aged 22, another 27 and a 57 year old man – had gone back in time to when it was a more innocent, simpler time. Think back to when you were kids and would camp out, either in the backyard or sneak off to the local pond. How you would build a campfire and tell stories and actually see the stars and all that nature has to offer (besides the mosquito). That you would notice that tiniest of creatures as Jeremie did and then all of you would circle round to view it and then let it go its own way. And all this just happened without planning or fanfare. And with the exception of the two of us using our Smartphones to take the frogs picture it was reminiscent of those boys in the movie, “Stand By Me” but I digress again...

Back to reality as here it is after 4 PM and we finally get back on the water and begin to fish. I set each of them up with a pole that had a two-hook set with a ½ ounce weight that Brian had made for me and with fresh minnows we began trolling. Now I had high expectations that we would get into some good sized Crappie as we trolled 11’ to 12’ deep in water from 16’ to 20” deep where I was marking fish but it was slow.

Now my son has the right attitude, and I learned Jeremie does too, and that is it’s not just about catching fish but about being out there. Yet, I like to be successful and see others do the same but the fish just weren’t cooperating. Maybe it was the fact the weather had dramatically changed what with the temps dropping from the 90’s to the 70’s or maybe the fish just moved on but I was very happy when Jeremie hooked a keeper that went 12”. And it grew from there where all of us at one time or another hooked two fish at the same time (even though they weren’t too big) for we were having fun and I was relaxing for the first time in a long while. And it was a non-stop conversation, whether it was between Jeremie and me or Jeremie and my son, it didn’t matter as I was a happy father listening to these two and getting to know Jeremie and him learning a little more about me.

Those 13” and 14” Crappie eluded us that evening but we gained something more than I had hoped for and that was we relaxed, opened up and enjoyed one another's company. We fished till it was dark and boated back to Eagle Creek where we saw a brilliant shooting star fall from the sky. It was an amazing touch to a pretty awesome day. Then I watched with some trepidation as Jeremie backed my Jeep and trailer into the water. He had me a tad anxious when he had the trailer at a 90 degree angle to the rear of the Jeep but he was able to get it straightened out and lined up for me to motor onto the trailer…eventually. Then we went through the checklist of getting ready to head home and were dodging more deer by 10 PM.

This is when it truly got interesting in that when I had asked Jeremie if he wanted to tag along, it was just going to be the two of us. And while he and my son had spent time together at my Ex’s home, the three of hadn’t really talked that much before today. And, as we drove home with the windows down - as the temps had dropped to 74-degrees - Jeremie rolled up his window and asked me what I thought about his buying my daughter an engagement ring. I have to admit, I had heard from my Ex that they had been discussing this possibility but as my daughter and I hadn’t talked much lately I wasn’t sure what to expect.

And call me old-fashioned, I feel that a man who wants to marry your daughter should be required to ask permission but I can’t imagine what Jeremie had been going through all afternoon as he looked for that moment to talk with me and here he has to do it with an audience in the back seat – my son – and all the road noise coming in through my open window. It was pretty quiet for second or two until I basically started to talk about what this means and then how well the two seems to complement each other which seemed to relax everyone a tad. Honestly, I never had given any thought of how to react to anyone asking me these questions except for the fact that they better ask me! And I hope my analytical response was encouraging as that was my intent and while we could not hug one another, a firm handshake was made in the darkness as I drove home on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 to ratify his request.

And as I dropped him off 30 minutes later, I wished him well and said I loved him which hopefully provided the acceptance he desired. All in all, it was memorable day and evening for all of us. I set out to catch some good size Crappie and ended up getting to know a young man who just might be a part of the rest of my life. I might not have got what I wanted but just maybe I got what I needed at this time in my life…what do you think?