The Three D's, or, carry some PVC
By Bob Zettler
June 19, 2024
Summer is upon us today and it’s a heat wave for the foreseeable future…a really hot one they say. We just passed Memorial Day where our fallen members of the Armed Forces were honored and July 4th is just around the corner.
And those of us who fish the waters here in Illinois and across the USA know a couple of things:
- People drink more alcohol during these times, and
- There are more idiots behind the wheel or on the tiller of boats out there no matter where you are.
It’s a game of survival out there. First off many fishermen leave before sunrise for their favorite destination and this time the odds increase that your trip could leave you injured, incapacitated, or worse, deceased from one of the “D’s”. What are these three “D’s” I speak of?
Well, I chose that expression many years ago during one of my many late night, early morning drives where I was headed out hunting somewhere. They are:
- Drunks
- Deer, and
- DUMBASSES.
Drunks. Here it is sometimes as early as 3 AM, and even earlier, where I am headed to my destination in southern Illinois, Northern Illinois and places in between. And what happens in some communities at either 2 AM or 3 AM? The bars close, and, you guessed it, a bunch of Drunks hit the road just as you either could collide with one or take a more scenic route trying to avoid…
Deer. What more can be said as these denizen of the darkness
love to graze on either side of the roadway during the night, or, play chicken by
crossing said road just as you try to wiz by. Heck, the last two nights when I haven’t come
through town on my way home until after 1 AM, there has been this rather large
buck just grazing away about 15’ to 20’ off the edge of Route 4#, RIGHT INSIDE
THE CITY LIMITS. Luckily he turned around and went back into the field as I slowly
pulled up to get a picture but we all know how much damage can be done to a
vehicle and it’s occupants going even just 40 MPH when one decides to cash it in.
And don’t forget their activity increase during the Rut and when the Does come into season. And if you’re puling a boat….I just can’t imagine all the damage that a deer could cause. I remember a story my Dad told me years ago about a fellow Army officer who was up in Wisconsin for their two weeks training that summer, and how his friend smacked a deer that flipped onto the hood and through his windshield where he ended up in his backseat still alive and started kicking the "___"out of him. WOW!
Dumbasses. They are EVERYWHERE! On the roadways, in the woods and fields, but especially on the water. Whether it’s a Jon Boat, fishing boat, pontoon, Seafood, speedboat, and all the rest that float and have propulsion, they are on the water or at the ramp – day in and day out. And not all of them are drinking alcohol!
(THANK GOD!)
Sometimes they speed through No Wake Zones. Or they simply run up and down the water in all types of watercraft, seemingly oblivious to their environment. Common Courtesy, and for the most part, Common Sense was left at home or never made it out the birth canal when they emerged into this world. There is no explaining them, and, are hard to identify…that is until they get near the water.
They speed past and right through while your trying to fish and even hunt. I have had people fish right through my decoys a number of times while I stand there out in the open with a loaded shotgun no less!. I was semi filled with glee one day last September during the early waterfowl season when this boat tried to fish right where I am hunting and they got stuck. It made me smile….
Again, there are all types of Dumbasses out there who don’t give a hoot about anyone else in their world – and that means you have to be cautious, ever vigilant and have cat-like reflexes. I personally have not been in a wreck in a boat, but who can say they have not experienced the terror of near misses, high rolling wakes, or the like?
So, to sum up my friends, in the immortal words of Phil Esterhouse,
“ Let’s be careful out there” and not end up in a body bag.
Here is a new one, always keep your PVC at the forefront:
- · Be Patient.
- · Be Vigilant.
- · Be Courteous.
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