Thanks for the memories...

By Bob Zettler

September 17, 2013

It was 18 years in the making or shall I say it took 18 years to get to the end.

In 1995 I took my two children to Beardstown to check out a litter of Yellow Lab puppies. Right now I do not recall how many they had left but one just stood out in my mind. He had a different look about him what with a nose and eye color that was complimented by his hair color. No, he wasn’t a true Yellow Lab but was what we called a Foxfire. He sealed the deal when he ignored all else that was going on around him and chose me in a sense. We named him JJ. We did this to honor a previous dog my Father had before he died that went hunting with me, and my two children – Andrea Joy and Jon Adam.

JJ grew into one Hell of a hunting companion and an important part of our family. He was a damn fine looking dog to boot and my children loved him. And when my son needed a companion, we were lucky to find another Foxfire Lab here in town and Missy entered our lives. Now in all my years, I had never had a female but a Father wants his children to be happy and luckily she fit in nicely; a little rebellious but she became my son’s best friend.

A year or so later, when times were rough, I heard one of the dogs yelp in the backyard and ran outside to see why. At first I couldn’t see any issue as they were standing side-by-side and then I discovered they were attached – OUCH! Never having been faced with a situation such as this I tried turning the hose on them which worked but the look on poor JJ's face was priceless!

The next day I locked Missy in a metal-barred kennel to protect us all from an outcome no one wanted. I arrived home that night after work only to see the picture window broken out, and as I went through the house and made it back to that kennel, I discovered that it appeared Missy had tried to dig her way out of the kennel and had moved the metal tray out a foot or so under the gate and when that failed she somehow bent the door and squeezed through it only to break out the picture window, climb a four-foot Hurricane fence, do the dirty deed with JJ and then 10 minutes later was smoking a cigarette with the big boy!

Yes, Missy got pregnant that day and not a metal kennel, window, fence or JJ's reluctance could prevent that from happening!

Then, about nine weeks later on a Sunday evening in 2001 we were curse....I mean blessed with 11 puppies. It wore me out as this was the first time I had ever been part of something like this but wanted to ensure they all had the best beginning for their lives. They lived inside until they were old enough to finally move outside and when we weaned them I created a concoction of dry Purina Puppy Chow, cows liver and goats milk all pureed together into a gruel they thrived on.

We placed them with their new owners from California to Ohio, with many staying right here in Illinois. In fact, we kept three at first – Spot, Chunk and Star – but that was after we lost Missy. It seems being a mother wasn’t all she expected and on one of her excursions out of the house through another broken window she got hit by a car. I found her in our driveway all tore up and had to put her down at the vet's that afternoon. It was a tough call and one of the most emotional moments I have ever been a part of as JJ and I lay beside her on the floor of the Vet's, we watched lovingly as she slipped away...

All three of the pups were unique. Spot had a patch of black fur on his hindquarter that I swear looked like the state of Illinois! Unfortunately, he didn’t play well with the other two and we ended up having to place him with a family in northern Illinois. I called him the thousand dollar dog as he had been injured as a pup that resulted in three surgeries that ran more than a thousand-dollars. Star was suppose to go to a woman in Oklahoma but as the deal fell through we added her to our family and she became my son’s best friend and companion through some of the most difficult years of his life.

Now my son doesn't hunt so Star stayed home when JJ and Chunk joined me on our excursions afield here in Illinois and up to North Dakota. One time I decided to try her out with the others and I took her out to join us on pheasant hunt. Unfortunately, she was a pretty docile dog and it seemed like all she wanted to do was walk behind me instead of in front where we needed her to roust pheasants. The only time she showed interest in our prey was when I dropped one and she would fight Chunk for the retrieve that many times ended up with the pheasant being torn in half! Needless to say, she stayed home after that…

We move forward to 2006 when JJ is diagnosed with diabetes and went blind in a matter of weeks. We childproofed the yard and home so he wouldn’t get hurt but the fire went out of him for he was now dependent on others. It was difficult to take for all of us until that one day I was on my way to Havana and slammed on the brakes when I saw a road kill Cock Pheasant. I threw it in the back and when I got home I quietly placed it a foot in front of JJ as he slept. Within seconds he woke up and lurched forward to make his final retrieve for you see he now had cancer in addition to his diabetes. When Star and Chunk saw and smelled he had a bird they came up to try and take it away but even blind JJ was able to hold on and keep the kids in check. And as he walked around the backyard with that bird firmly ensconced in his jaws, you could see the pride flow as he returned to seasons where he reigned supreme and all was well with the world…

We lost JJ on my birthday that summer. We all still miss him.

Now it’s Chunk and Star. They were more than brother and sister as their bonds grew with every passing day. And then Chunk was diagnosed with Diabetes. Fortunately we caught it early and before it could steal his sight. We once again began the regimen of a strict diet and two shots of insulin a day to keep his blood sugar tolerable and he and I even got out to hunt a couple of times. But this is a wicked disease and it began to eat away at him so he could not join us on a trip to North Dakota. Reluctantly, I decided to take Star along…

This trip seemed doomed from the onset as I would have a friend come along and his schedule only allowed us to leave a week earlier than I had planned and hoped for. And on the way there the Check Engine light came on forcing us to stop in Grand Forks for repairs on a Saturday morning. We finally made it to the Granville area late that day and while we both shot a couple of ducks, Star wasn’t much help as she couldn’t fight her way through the reeds and cattails to get to them. I wasn’t pleased…

The next day we had to leave her in my van as we were hunting Sandhill Cranes. A crippled Sandhill can kill a dog. When I returned to the van I discovered she had eaten the door-frame on my side. She had panicked being alone and had clawed and chewed the door panel, ceiling and frame trying to get to us. It was as about as close as I had even been wanting to kill a dog. That night I borrowed a friend’s plastic kennel and placed her in it in the back of the van while we hunted the next day. When we returned there was Star sitting in the passenger front seat! She had eaten a hole out of the kennel and now ate the door frame on the passenger side! Good God I wanted to kill her but she was my son’s canine companion and I just couldn’t do that. Plus, and after all, she was her Mother’s daughter and you all know how she made Star and the rest…

By the end of the week, I was surprised to witness the beginning of a metamorphosis in Star. She went from walking behind me, to beside me and then even a short distance in front. And that nose of hers - Wow! She could find downed birds and roust live ones. Life was good…

It dawned on me that Star had never been alone as she and Chunk had been side-by-side for years. And when he wasn’t there, my son was, and that had to explain her severe separation anxiety. It didn’t make it easier but at least now we knew what we were dealing with. And then when Chunk was diagnosed with cancer too, and by the hunting season of 2011, he was but a remnant of what he had been. Yet, I was able to take him on one last waterfowl hunt before he too passed away...

That left us with Star. And what we now knew about her separation anxiety, we very concerned about how she would act being alone as I worked and my son was in college. For the first seven days after Chunk passed, we were able to have someone at home to ensure she would be okay. But on the eighth day, we had to leave her alone. Now for some reason I had this fear about losing my new Sharp 52” LCD TV but could find no basis for this. But when I returned home that night, I discovered the TV face-down in the living room and Star cowering nearby. That was the second time I almost killed that dog but my love for my children prevented me from strangling her.

Star needed us and my son needed her. I also needed her when I pheasant hunted and was relieved when she was now able to stay by herself even for a couple of days as long as I had a pet sitter come by to let her out and feed her. She had her Mother’s eyes, you know the ones that just look sad all the time and was constantly underfoot, except when she was sleeping on a sleeping bag in my bedroom – the same one Chunk and she had used for years. Life fell into a routine and she would occasionally go with me hunting last year but because both of us are not in the greatest of shape we didn’t go as much as I had in years past. After all, she was nearing 12 and I…nuff said.

Then, one night back in early June I noticed her pacing back and forth from where we sat in the living room to the kitchen. I asked my son to put her outside just in case, and as he stood at the open door and called to her, she didn’t come but just stood there. Finally, after some 19 times of calling to her, he raised his voice in frustration and she fell over and urinated. This was not common and his calling to her while commanding was in no way near threatening. Something was amiss.

Jon said she appeared to be acting like Chunk did when his blood sugar was too low or high but I had her tested recently for diabetes and everything was normal. For the next several hours we watched over her and I finally relented to my son’s suggestion of giving her some Karo Syrup. Within minutes she was better and we agreed to take her into the Vet in the morning.

Now we have been blessed to have Dr. Boyce as our vet for he is old-school and is there when we need him. A quick blood test showed her blood sugar levels were in the 30’s but what was causing it? He performed a physical and discovered a mass that shouldn’t be there – surgery was scheduled for the next day. My son and I took her in and waited while they operated. His assistant Jason came out and asked me to come with him to where I thought I would be updated on the surgery, so I could then break it to my son but was a little surprised to meet up with Dr. Boyce as he was still operating on Star. As I am on old medic and I will occasionally sit in on operations with him late after normal clinic hours, being there wasn’t an issue. However, when he showed me Star’s liver and how the cancer had invaded it I knew right then that her time was short.

There was nothing to do but close her up, make her comfortable and return home so she could finish out her days with the rest of the family. There was no way to know if she had several days, weeks or even a month or two for all that was in God’s hands. She came home that evening and we all gathered around to ensure her last days would be good ones. That meant a high protein diet, steroid shots to help her system every two weeks and just try to enjoy every day as a blessing.

June stretched into July, then August and into September and for the most part Star seemed as if there was nothing wrong. Sure, we had a couple of instances where the Karo was needed but her eating improved (venison, hamburger, chicken and rice) and that provided us a good indicator of her well-being. And as it was hunting season, I was now out and about every weekend chasing waterfowl or dove but managed to stay in touch and available in case things went south. Then this past weekend after two days of hunting with my good friends down south I get a call from my son saying it had been tough one for Star so I hurried home.

Star seemed to be doing better and slept beside me for part of the night. And as agreed, I took her into Dr. Boyce after work for a quick check-up when all the other patients had left. I was shocked to hear that her Blood Sugar was 36 (normal is around 100+), so he gave her a steroid shot a few days early – we were doing it every two weeks and this would be five days early. Now I knew something was wrong for as she paced about the room she pooped while walking. And even though she had the shot and I was about to go, she fell over and could not get up.

You never forget the fear you see in a dogs eyes when something like this happens. So Boyce gave her Karo syrup and then another injection right into the vein with no noticeable impact. Finally he tried an infusion via a saline/glucose IV and later had me carry her out onto the front yard where it would be easier for her to not only stand up but stay standing. Fortunately, she was able to stand and we went home to talk about her future for the IV solution should be absorbed over the next 3-4 hours and that maybe this is an aberration.

She ate very little that night and once again slept on the sleeping bag she and her brother had for nearly a decade while I crashed in my bed. When I got up to go to work the next morning I could smell either gas or poop but she struggled to her feet and headed with me towards the backdoor to go potty. Ten foot away and she fell unable to get up. Calling to my son for help we discovered she had pooped and peed in her bed, something she had never done. But after six syringes of Karo squirted into her mouth she rejoined us and was able to stand and walk.

It was time. What I mean is we all agreed that we would not let her suffer and this was the sign(s) we had been dreading. So we called my daughter and she came over and the three of us sat with Star in our front yard. She had bounced back with that Karo but in our hearts we knew that it wouldn’t last for the cancer was taking her pancreas and when it went….it wouldn’t be pretty. My son suggested we take her to my friend’s place south of town where we took her brother Chunk several times during his last weeks trying to decide if it was his time. While we had agreed it was her time, we wanted her to continue to enjoy life for as long as she didn’t suffer. At my friend’s place she sniffed around, got loved and even retrieved a few times but we could tell she was struggling. Yet, we wanted to see what her blood sugar was before making a decision so it was back to the vet.

As it was near the Noon hour, it wasn’t long before she could be checked and they even sent a tech out to the car to draw blood. Unfortunately, and after all the injections, Karo syrup and additional efforts, her blood sugar was 42 and dropping. Knowing that anything else we could do was only postponing the inevitable we decided it was Star’s time. We did not want her to suffer and if you have seen the fear in the eyes of a dog you will know what I mean. I had seen it with her Father, JJ, in Missy, and Chunk to some extent and I did not want her to leave afraid but knowing that she was loved and will always be loved.

My son and I lay on the floor beside her as she received the first shot, a shot to relax her. Within minutes she was asleep and peaceful. Then, the final shot was administered and we watched as her breathing slowed and then ceased. And then Dr. Boyce took his stethoscope and planted it next to her heart and listened. And he listed for more than five minutes which seemed an eternity to my son and me. He never moved as we all were on the floor next to Star and then pronounced she was gone. I let my son spend a few minutes alone and then both of us had to leave for the tears were flowing. For we had not only lost Star but the last remnant of our canine family members that had joined us more than 18 years ago. And while we all feel the right decision was made for at the right time you just regret not having one more moment, one more second, one more anything with a family member that was loved.

We had been so very lucky to have brought JJ and then Missy into our lives as they produced 11 puppies that have in turn touched so many others. From Chunk and Star, to their siblings Taz, Benny, Star (in California), Little Bit, Fluffy, Big Mama, and Spot, to the others I lost touch with, they all have made their mark in the world and left it a better place. For the Zettler’s, Star, Chunk, Missy and JJ represented more than 18 years in our lives and right now as we grieve for our most recent loss we are scared of what the future holds. We were so very, very lucky to have them as they fit into our family as if by design that how could we match our fortune? Yes, we know there will be another canine family member but for right now we grieve over our loss and try to take solace in that there was so much love between us all. Yet, it is a true end of an era for these 18 years constitute most of my children’s lives to date and stem from their childhood into adulthood. A difficult transition at best but one that established countless memories for us to savor and reflect on – both the ups and downs of our relationships – as we age.

Yes, Star, Chunk, Missy and JJ, we love you and “Thanks for the memories…”